Wednesday Musings

After all my preparations, my trial date was lost. I now have two days (count them) with nothing on my calendar. Nature abhors a vacuum, so I'm sure something will come up.

What came up, literally, last week was everything my little Booglet ate or drank. She was so sick we didn't get to wear our Easter dress, or look for eggs, or play. Like The Cat and the Hat, all we could do was sit sit sit sit, and we did not like it, not one little bit. It got so bad that eventually on Easter Sunday there we were, sitting in the hospital emergency room. I held her and she just sat there listlessly. And while holding my little one, surrounded by the din of hospital speakers and watching the walking wounded of the waiting room I thought about this saying, "God so loved the world that he gave his only son."

Easter Sunday, when the Christian world celebrates the resurrection, and I'm sitting here with this warm little girl in my lap, wrapping my arms around her, smelling her hair and trying to keep her engaged by commenting on the various little children sitting around us. And I think:

There's no way in the world I could give this child up.

When Isaac asks his innocent child question of Abraham, "where's the lamb for the offering?" and Abraham says God will provide, his faith has outstripped mine. My little one looks up at me and says "Daddy, I don't feel very good" or, after throwing up again says, "I'm sorry," and I realize there is no way in hell I could part with this child. I realize that I would move mountains to protect her, that I would hold her as long as she is sick, comfort her as long as I have breath, and God help anyone who got in my way. In just over two years, this little one has yanked my heart out and taken it over. I am a willing conspirator–she can have it as long as she stays around.

Christians view the crucifixion, with Christ's last words literally being "My God, my God why have you forsaken me?" Matthew 27:46 as God offering up his child as the sacrificial lamb for all his creation. That's a love I can't get my head around. That's a mystery I can't fathom.

And it illustrates to me on a whole other level the passion. My Easter was different this year, but it was profound.

The Booglet got a IV (no crying about the needle) and slept through the next hour while her mother held her. Our whole little family there in a room, huddled around this 30 pound beautiful creature that neither her mother or I dreamed could ever make us so happy. We left and drove home, exhaling finally and knowing the worst was over. Our little child was re-hydrated and Mommy and Daddy put her to bed. Everyone slept late the next morning, including Chester.

When I got home last night she was hopping around so the worst is over. She's starting to eat again and we went for a hike along the bay late yesterday afternoon. She's asking about Saturday's swim lessons and we're getting back to normal.